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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN — Thursday night, late

I walked into my bedroom. Jana was in my bed, her laptop in her lap. She had on a big, oversized t-shirt.

“There you are.” she said without looking up.

I fell on the bed next to her.

“What are you doing?”


“At this time of night?”

She turned the laptop so I could see. A google search for “Tony Davidson.”

“Ahhh. That kind of research. What have you found.”

“Nothing really. Except about a million pages about him as a quarterback in college and the NFL.”

“Are we smitten?”

She looked at me and smiled dreamily. “Totally.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. He was a perfect gentleman, damnit.”

She looked at me again. Casually, “You have dried cum on your chest.”

My hand shot up. Sure enough, I could feel a bit of flaky film just above the line of my dress. I looked at her and smiled.

“Blowjob?” She asked with a sideways smile.


She nodded and turned back to her laptop.

“He doesn’t seem to have ever been linked with any Hollywood whores or Nashville sluts, there is no gossip about him, no scandals, nothing really. Hugely respected on and off the field by his coaches and teammates.”

She began reading. “Tony David is the kind of guy that commands respect on the field and off.’ His college coach said of him before the draft. ‘Tony is the real deal. Humble, hard-working, smart and tough. Great arm. Accurate. Good decision maker. A natural leader. He’s going to make a great NFL quarterback.’ And this one, ‘Tony is the kind of young man you hope your sons grow up to be and your daughters marry.'”

“Jesus,” she said, “He’s practically a saint.”

“A handsome, studly saint.” I said. “Nothing happened? Did you even try?”

“Ok, it wasn’t nothing. Let’s call it second base.”

“That’s better.” I said. “Good kisser?”

“Pretty good. He’ll learn.”

“You going out again?”

“Saturday night.”

I leaned over and kissed her. “Good.”

She closed the laptop, pulled me down on top of her. “Tell me about your drive.”

“We drove. He asked me in. I turned him down. We made out in the car. It was all very ‘second base’ until I made him take his cock out.”

“You made him take it out? Made him?”

I nodded. We kissed again.

“In the car?”

I nodded and kissed at the same time.

“And then you gave him a handjob.” she stated.

She kissed me hard, passionately.

“Why didn’t you go in?”

“Because I’m not a slut who fucks on the first date. But mostly because he didn’t ask me twice.”

We kissed some more.

“Did he return the favor?”

I shook my head no as we kissed.

“That wasn’t very gentlemanly of him. A man should give a girl a little something for the effort when he gets a handjob.”

“It just happened so fast. After he did his thing we were both a little embarrassed. He came pretty quick and was embarrassed about that and I — I just sort of… I don’t know. I panicked a little. But I was aching for him to ask me in again, especially after I saw his cock.”

“You’d think they would know to ask twice.” She said.

“I know, right?”

“Tell me about his cock.”


“You’re not the best judge of enormous.” She said. “Show me.”

I thought for a moment. I put one fist down on her tummy like I was holding it in my hand, and then the other fist on top of it the same way. Then I took the bottom hand out and held it out flat about 2 inches above the second fist.”

“No, seriously.”

“Really.” I said.

Her eyebrows arched.


I held my hand up and made an ‘O’ with my thumb and forefinger.

“If you are anywhere close to accurate, that’s around nine inches. Very nice indeed. Did you suck it?”

“No, I was just about to when it went off. In fact, if he hadn’t come so quick, I’d likely have fucked him right there in the car. Or something. I was aching for it.”

Take your dress off, you aching slut.” she teased.

I stood up at the foot of the bed and did what I hoped was a seductive little dance as I slid my dress off slowly.

I put one foot on the bed and slipped my shoe off. Then the other.

“Leave those on.” she said about my pantyhose. “They are so amazing on you.”

“As you wish.” I crawled up on the bed, crawling toward her on all fours.

She put the laptop down on the side table. “It’s late. I have a presentation tomorrow.”

“I know.” I crawled up astride her on all fours.

“I really need to get some sleep. I should have been asleep hours ago.”

“I know.” I started kissing her neck.

“You shouldn’t have stayed out so late. I was worried.”

“I know.” I took the bedsheet in my teeth and started backing down the bed on all fours, pulling the sheet down.

Once I got it past her tummy, it hung on something and I felt an out-of-place lump. I reached up with one hand and pulled the sheet completely down.

“I’ve been waiting for you to come home.” She said.

There was a good sized dildo lying beside her thigh.

“I know.” I crawled back up on casino siteleri all fours, astride her.

“I was waiting for you.” She pouted.

“I know.” I pushed my pantyhose covered crotch down her pubic bone. It felt good on my hungry pussy.

“I wanted to try something new.”

“I know.” I began to roll my hips and kiss her neck and collarbone.

“But now I’m too tired and have to get some sleep.”

“I know.” I pulled the straps of her nightgown down over her shoulders.

“I don’t think this thing will fit in your tiny pussy anyhow.”

“I know.” I squeezed her breasts hard like I know she likes, and bit lightly on her puffy nipples. Grinding against her. She was moaning softly.

“And I have a presentation tomorrow…” She was starting to repeat herself.

“I know.” I kissed her deeply.

“And you’ve already…” she didn’t finish. Her eyes were closed. A dreamy expression on her face.

“I know.” I reached down and ripped a hole in my pantyhose at the crotch.

“I’ve changed my mind. I have to get some sleep.” I felt her hips rolling, grinding against me.

“I know.” I gently slipped off to one side, continuing to kiss her and fondle her beautiful tits.

“It’s gotten so late…”

“I know.” I straddled her face and pressed my pussy against her lips.

She immediately began to lick my pussy deeply. It was wonderful and I knew it wouldn’t take long for me to cum.

I reached down and picked up the dildo.

She had her hands on my inner thighs, spreading my pussy open with her thumbs so she could lick me deeper. She was moaning “so good so good” into my pussy.

I put the head of the dildo against her plump pussy and pushed it in just past the head.

She let out a deep moan. “Oh yes. Fuck me with your big cock.” She was pushing her tongue into my hole deeply. My orgasm was so close.

Her pussy was making a wet spot below her. I bent down, arching my back. Doing so moved my clitoris between her lips as I took her clitoris in my own.

I very slowly pushed the dildo all the way in as I nibbled and sucked her clitoris. Her hips were rolling and grinding slowly.

She sucked and bit my clitoris gently. My orgasm began as I was flicking the tip of my tongue ever so lightly against the barest tip of her clitoris.

What began as a soft orgasm suddenly hit like a bomb going off. I rolled my back up and her nose pressed into my pussy as I ground my clit into her mouth. She was licking and sucking greedily as my orgasm rolled through me.

My orgasm over, I slid off to the side and moved down between her legs.

With one hand pinching her breasts and nipples, I pushed the dildo into her with a steady pace as I licked her clit firmly.

It just took a minute for her orgasm to hit. She bucked and clutched my hair with one hand and pulled hard at a nipple with the other.

“fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme” she moaned over and over as I pumped her pussy with the dildo and sucked hard on her clit, the wet spot below her growing.

When her orgasm was finally over, I crawled back on top of her and we began kissing. Her face was slick from my wet pussy. I kissed her face all over, tasting my own orgasm.

After several long minutes of kissing and petting, I slid off the top of her to the side, and snuggled in close, my leg draped across her thighs. My arm flung across her tummy. I held her tight and couldn’t get close enough to her. My love for her was a keening ache.

“You actually ejaculated.” she said sleepily.

“I did not.”

“You did. Feel the pillow.”

It was damp in a halo around her head. I didn’t know such a thing was possible.

“I must have peed a little when I came.” I giggled.

“It wasn’t pee.” She turned her head and kissed the bridge of my nose. “But if it was pee, it was delicious pee.”

I giggled again.

“Thank you for the car. I love it.”

“You’re welcome ladybug.” She was nearly asleep.

We lay quiet. In the moonlit room, I looked at the painting of the two girls on a picnic with a quiet recognition that the two girls in it were she and I from a sweet day years ago.


I startled awake. I was immediately aware that Jana wasn’t next to me. It felt odd.

I pulled on a robe and padded into the kitchen. Jana was there, dressed and sipping a cup of coffee, looking over a folder full of papers.

“Good morning.” She kissed me distractedly.

“Good morning.” I poured a cup of coffee.

“Ready for your presentation?” I asked.

“I’m going to kick its ass.” She said.

“What time does it begin?”

“10:00 sharp.”

“I’ll be thinking of you.”

She nodded absently and sipped her coffee, absorbed in her file.

I quietly prepared a bowl of oatmeal for us both. Hers sat untouched as she reviewed for her meeting.

I went to my room to get ready for work. When I emerged from the shower, Jana was sitting on my bed.

“Thank you for last night. It wasn’t at all what I had planned for when you got home, but it worked out better than what I had in mind. You were amazing. It was exactly what I canlı casino needed.”

I walked up to her and pulled her up. “I love you.”

“I am watching you become the woman I always knew you to be. It’s thrilling to see.”

“I’m still the same me.”

“Yes, you are, but better. More confident in what you want. You are becoming more self-assured and assertive, and even more feminine at the same time. It’s amazing.”

I kissed her. Hard.

When we broke the kiss, I looked at her and said, “I don’t know about any of that, but I’m happier than I ever remember being. And I smeared your lipstick.”

She smiled. “I am overjoyed to hear that. The happy part, not the lipstick part.”

We kissed again.

“Thank you for everything. The dress. The car. Setting up the date with Keith. The bedroom. I don’t really know what to say. It was the most perfect evening ever.”

We kissed again.

“Ok! I have to get going. Big day today, but I didn’t want to get out the door without telling you how much I love you and love watching you blossom.” She went into my bathroom and touched up her makeup and was out the door.

I was soon dressed and out the door myself.

Once in my car, I noticed a white stain on the console. It was from Keith the night before. He is quite the fireman, I thought with a smile. I resolved to get a couple of towels, and maybe a box of wet wipes to keep in the trunk.

I thought about him on the drive, about how much I wanted him.

And then I thought about Mr. Jackson, and how much I think I might want him too.

And then I thought about how he caught his wife sleeping with the two black pool boys and wondered what he would think of me for what I did last night — giving a black man a torrid handjob in my car, on the first date no less.

Undoubtedly, he would think me a slut. I decided that he must never, ever know. It would surely bring up painful memories. I have never known Mr. Jackson to say one racist word, or even a harsh word about his former wife — indeed, I don’t recall that he’s ever even mentioned her in my presence at all.

Even so, I wondered if anyone saw me at the restaurant last night. I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t remember a single person there except the four of us.

But, I thought, it’s not like he and I have a relationship anyway, or are even very likely to develop one. This dinner tomorrow night is a simple thank you. Nothing more. It’s just that he’s so private that we ended up at his home instead of mine. It’s silly of me to make more of this that what it is.

I’m a free woman and I can date — or give handjobs — to anyone I choose.

But still… I couldn’t deny that I was very attracted to him and the thought of a real boy/girl thing with him was thrilling. I wanted to be careful not to do anything that might prevent that possibility.

Yes, he’s older, but he’s in fine shape and very attractive. And when I was being honest about it, I’ve had a crush on him since the beginning of my employment at his law firm.

I found myself daydreaming about being in his house, sitting on his couch, making out. His rough hands on my thighs, my breasts, the small of my back. And I wondered how his cock compared to the one I had in my hands last night. From what I felt through his trousers during our little incident in his office earlier this week, quite favorably.

I looked up and I was at the office. I drove into the parking deck and put my car in my assigned spot and walked across the deck to the elevator that took me to the lobby.

Through the lobby with a smile and a nod to Jerome the security guard for his “looking fiii-iiine today Ms. Thomas”, I was at my desk in 5 minutes, settling in for the work day.

I had worn a smart, tailored business suit that I knew was flattering. A pencil skirt in grey that hit just above the knee, a white blouse underneath and matching jacket.

I wasn’t expecting to see Mr. Jackson until after lunch. I knew he played tennis at the club on Friday mornings unless he had something going on here, and that wasn’t the case this morning.

Once I made it through my morning routine, I logged into my personal gmail account. I hadn’t checked it for several days, I realized.

There was the usual amount of routine stuff. A few jumped out though, and I quickly flagged them.

I deleted the crap, filed the ones that needed filing, responded to the personal business items that needed responding to, and tidied the place up. I’m fussy about keeping my email orderly.

I clicked on the first flag. It was from my step-mom, a reminder of my half-brother’s birthday party next month. I pushed it to my calendar.

The next one was from daddy. Just checking in. Short. I made a note to call him later today.

The next one was from Jason, the recently departed boyfriend. It was friendly, but a bit cryptic. Wants to have lunch. Still friends? Something he would like to discuss with me. Not pressing. Call sometime. I pushed this one to my phone as a reminder for thought and discussion with Jana.

I deliberately saved this one for last. Keith. I clicked it open. It read:



Thank kaçak casino your for a wonderful evening last night. I enjoyed myself completely. I was also gratified to see that Jana and Tony seemed to enjoy each other’s company.

I know this weekend isn’t going to work out for us, and I leave for Chicago on Sunday. I wish it were different. I am counting the hours until I can see you again.

I’m a little embarrassed by the way the evening ended. Not because of what happened, which was wonderful for me, but because I regret that our brief encounter did not allow me the opportunity to show you the same courtesy.

So please accept my apology and know that given the opportunity, I will make amends to you to the very best of my ability.




I sat back in my chair, my heart fluttering, wondering how to respond. I decided I had better think about it before I started typing.

So of course I began typing immediately.



Thank you for your very sweet note. I am touched by your thoughtfulness. It was a most wonderful evening. The meal, the dancing, the conversation, everything was just perfect.

As for the way the evening ended, personally, I found it thrilling. While I might have planned it differently had I thought it out ahead of time, I don’t recall being disappointed by the spontaneous way it happened. Honestly, it was exciting to see the effect I had on you.

While your gracious apology is quite unnecessary, decorum insists that I accept it, and any attempt to ‘make amends’ will be met with what I hope to be an equal amount of grace.




I paused to re-read it and hit ‘send’ with my libido tingling, and then I forwarded the email and my reply to Jana.

I looked at the clock. Almost noon. I wondered how Jana’s presentation had gone.

I grabbed my purse to go to lunch. I walked by Brandon’s desk to see if he wanted to go with. He had already gone.


As I was walking toward the elevator, on a whim I texted Jason, “Lunch plans?”

Might as well get it over with I thought.

I got an immediate reply. “Meet me at The Deli-icious?”

I texted back “5 minutes.”

The Deli-icious was a little deli almost halfway between our two offices.

He was waiting at the door when I walked up. He looked different.

I immediately saw that he had gotten a haircut — a nice one — and had on clothes that I hadn’t seen before.

I walked up. He was smiling broadly.

“Hello Erika.”

“Hi Jason, it’s so nice to see you.” I gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Let’s have some lunch!” he said brightly.

We went in and gave our order at the counter and found a seat in a booth.

“You look wonderful.” He said.

“I was just about to say the same about you. New haircut?”

“Like it?”

“Looks very nice. That’s a good cut for you.”

We made small talk until the waitress brought our food and we began eating.

“I have to thank you.” he said.


“Yeah. Last weekend was a lot of fun!”

“I don’t know what to say…” I replied. “You’re welcome?”

“You’re welcome is good. How are things with you and Jana?”

“Really good. Getting settled in.”

“I guess you had a secret too?” he was fishing.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“The lesbian thing. With Jana.”

“Oh. That.” I said, noncommittal.

“Am I missing something? Aren’t you two a couple now?” Pressing.

I was getting wary. “Is that why you wanted to talk to me, to get the details of my love life?”

“No, no. I just care about you is all. I’m curious about how you’re doing. I’ve missed you this week.”

“Justin, I don’t know if I’m a ‘lesbian’ or not. It was just something that happened. I still like men. I had a date with one last night.”

“You’re not wasting any time!” he grinned, but it had a leer to it.

“I’m starting to think this wasn’t a good idea.” I said.

“I’m sorry. I guess I’m jealous and maybe a little hurt. It’s been a confusing week.”

“It has certainly been a whirlwind. For both of us.” I agreed.

Changing the subject. “I’ve decided to go to law school in the fall.”

“That’s good news.”

I told him about my decision and the unexpected generosity of the law firm. We chatted amicably until we were nearly finished with our meal.

“I’m thinking about moving, myself.” He said as he paid the check.


We walked out onto the sidewalk.

“Yeah. I think I need to move to a bigger city. Start over. Be who I really am. San Francisco maybe.”

I couldn’t resist asking. “Who are you, really? I mean, what is this all about? Be honest. You owe me that.”

He sighed. “Erika, it’s so complicated and confusing. This is really the conversation I wanted to have with you in there when I was being so… rude. And I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to… how to say it.”

I said to him, “Jason, you don’t have to hide anything from me. I do care about you and want the best for you. I want you to be happy and fulfilled, and I’m smart enough to know that begins with self-honesty. And I also know that sharing with someone else is an important part of it. You need to say it out loud. Confess it to another person. Keeping a secret like that is… well, somebody should know is all.”

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